![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
01. i'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously.
02. did you take pictures of the fish tank at the sheriff station or did you let me down?
03. i think matching sweaters would make us look approachable!
04. why is hotel staff asking about the blood in our room?
i know you do too
but i won't let go of you
'til you push me away
so kiss me in the doorway
I agree. Approachable to the unwashed masses who want ask, for the dozenth time, if we're brothers.
[ wildly varying ethnicities totally outweighed by two men who display even an iota of visible affection for one another, you see. ]
[ wildly varying ethnicities totally outweighed by two men who display even an iota of visible affection for one another, you see. ]
Edited 2017-11-01 22:19 (UTC)
[ what a curious world they live in. ]
i like to try to take it as a weird kind of compliment??
there's nothing wrong with the idea that i have at least a fraction of your maddening attractiveness.
but uh
is that a no to the sweaters?
i like to try to take it as a weird kind of compliment??
there's nothing wrong with the idea that i have at least a fraction of your maddening attractiveness.
but uh
is that a no to the sweaters?
Fft. Get your own maddening attractiveness. Ignorance is not a compliment, and you shouldn't encourage it.
That's
[ ughhhhhh he doesn't want to agree to this, but. compromise, that's a thing he's trying to do. ]
A last resort. Okay? Matching sweaters are a last resort, like wearing a bald wig, or pretending to speak Bulgarian
That's
[ ughhhhhh he doesn't want to agree to this, but. compromise, that's a thing he's trying to do. ]
A last resort. Okay? Matching sweaters are a last resort, like wearing a bald wig, or pretending to speak Bulgarian
does it count as encouragement if i take some small pleasure from their ignorance and then watch while you tear them to pieces?
remember the last time? what did you say?? [ a brief pause while he laughs to himself. ]
you almost made that man cry.
well, you'll be happy to know that i have now purchased matching sweaters for when we're in need of a last resort.
they're seafoam green. with embroidered pineapples.
remember the last time? what did you say?? [ a brief pause while he laughs to himself. ]
you almost made that man cry.
well, you'll be happy to know that i have now purchased matching sweaters for when we're in need of a last resort.
they're seafoam green. with embroidered pineapples.
[ things a person should not be doing while surrounded by mountains of flammability: lighting his third cigarette in an hour, especially when all smoking is ostensibly done on the balcony.
and yet, that is exactly what sebastian tantalo is engaged in this blustery, rainy fall morning - making the open window kind of a dicey prospect, but it's that or fishbowl the room - along with his second cup of coffee, charlie parker, and a sheaf of documents thicker than his wrist. on zetes' side of the office, a place he rarely visits unless they're making out in the very desk chair he's sitting in, because it is a barren wasteland devoid entirely of any organization. sebastian is still trying to put things back down where he found them; who knows, there might be a system at work here! a system that will eventually reveal the third in triplicate copies of his conceal and carry permit! ha. ha ha. eventually: ]
Zetes! [ bellowed in the general direction of the open door ] Your stuff is in serious danger of being alphabetized; leaving me alone in this condition is like throwing rice at a vampire wedding.
[ because in some mythos vampires have that compulsive need to count things...never mind, zetes can be nothing but used to sebastian's special brand of sebastianness by now. ]
and yet, that is exactly what sebastian tantalo is engaged in this blustery, rainy fall morning - making the open window kind of a dicey prospect, but it's that or fishbowl the room - along with his second cup of coffee, charlie parker, and a sheaf of documents thicker than his wrist. on zetes' side of the office, a place he rarely visits unless they're making out in the very desk chair he's sitting in, because it is a barren wasteland devoid entirely of any organization. sebastian is still trying to put things back down where he found them; who knows, there might be a system at work here! a system that will eventually reveal the third in triplicate copies of his conceal and carry permit! ha. ha ha. eventually: ]
Zetes! [ bellowed in the general direction of the open door ] Your stuff is in serious danger of being alphabetized; leaving me alone in this condition is like throwing rice at a vampire wedding.
[ because in some mythos vampires have that compulsive need to count things...never mind, zetes can be nothing but used to sebastian's special brand of sebastianness by now. ]
Edited 2017-11-02 00:27 (UTC)
[ there are very few things that can drag zetes mae away from freshly procured donut holes—especially the maple glazed kind, which is the designation attached to all twelve doughy delights he's just ceremoniously dumped out on the office's front desk—but the threat of organization appears to make the list. because maybe there is a system to the particular configuration of his side! or, at least, there is the vague impression of one, something zetes has grown accustomed to and possibly proud of.
he appears at the door with one donut hole safely tucked inside his cheek, his purple windbreaker and one of his more well-loved baseball caps still dripping from his quick jaunt to the cornerstone cafe. he blinks at the state of things, at the state of sebastian with his coffee and cigarette and his incorrigibly old-fashioned taste in music, and his look of concern morphs slightly into one of fondness. he chews thoughtfully as he reaches for one of his impressive stacks of papers, almost displacing a tube of paint that he had previously believed to have gone missing. ]
What did my stuff ever do to deserve threats? [ he asks, as though he's hurt on his stuff's behalf. then: ] I guess a vampire wedding would have to happen at night, right? Do you think they'd kiss at the end or bite each other?
[ he turns to sebastian, eyebrows raised quizzically, and then pretends to remember something else is clearly going on here. he smiles. ] Are you looking for something in particular, or... ?
[ or is this all just an elaborate plan to get him to make out with you, sebastian? to be fair, from the general air of the room, zetes is banking on the former. ]
he appears at the door with one donut hole safely tucked inside his cheek, his purple windbreaker and one of his more well-loved baseball caps still dripping from his quick jaunt to the cornerstone cafe. he blinks at the state of things, at the state of sebastian with his coffee and cigarette and his incorrigibly old-fashioned taste in music, and his look of concern morphs slightly into one of fondness. he chews thoughtfully as he reaches for one of his impressive stacks of papers, almost displacing a tube of paint that he had previously believed to have gone missing. ]
What did my stuff ever do to deserve threats? [ he asks, as though he's hurt on his stuff's behalf. then: ] I guess a vampire wedding would have to happen at night, right? Do you think they'd kiss at the end or bite each other?
[ he turns to sebastian, eyebrows raised quizzically, and then pretends to remember something else is clearly going on here. he smiles. ] Are you looking for something in particular, or... ?
[ or is this all just an elaborate plan to get him to make out with you, sebastian? to be fair, from the general air of the room, zetes is banking on the former. ]
[ despite his most valiant attempts not to give in, sebastian's document-induced ire visibly deflates a degree or two at just zetes all... damp and clearly in need of a towel dry, followed by restorative cuddling, which is not helped by anything else he then does or says. zetes possesses this unique ability to somehow make silly speculation challenging and fun, whereas anyone else inviting him to ponder the particulars of a vampire wedding would have been promptly withered to death. ]
I'm looking for my certificate as a Doctor of vampir...ology. Obviously. My expert opinion concludes two vampires biting each other would be like trying to tickle yourself.
[ he quickly rescues the paint tube, in the meanwhile, sticking his cigarette in the corner of his mouth for safekeeping, drawing in a long pull of delicious carcinogens and letting the smoke out of his nostrils like a dragon. because he can. ]
Okay no, it's time for us to renew our licenses in carrying instruments of murder and or shooting random holes in perfectly good walls, so I'm trying to find a copy of my fucking last one. It's been stolen by fairies. Apparently.
I'm looking for my certificate as a Doctor of vampir...ology. Obviously. My expert opinion concludes two vampires biting each other would be like trying to tickle yourself.
[ he quickly rescues the paint tube, in the meanwhile, sticking his cigarette in the corner of his mouth for safekeeping, drawing in a long pull of delicious carcinogens and letting the smoke out of his nostrils like a dragon. because he can. ]
Okay no, it's time for us to renew our licenses in carrying instruments of murder and or shooting random holes in perfectly good walls, so I'm trying to find a copy of my fucking last one. It's been stolen by fairies. Apparently.
[ he's just. so delighted. ]
1) because thrift stores
2) i think i would remember having a puppy, even in a past life, so no, probably not
3) you should know the answer to this
but because i like to say it
i love you very much.
1) because thrift stores
2) i think i would remember having a puppy, even in a past life, so no, probably not
3) you should know the answer to this
but because i like to say it
i love you very much.
[ zetes accepts this answer with a slow nod, more seriously pondering the imagery of that, the priest—could they even have a priest?—inviting the groom to bite the bride and blood going everywhere and maybe sebastian is the expert here. but suddenly more pressing is the topic of tickling oneself. he brightens, thoughts daringly leaping from one speeding train of speculation to another. ]
I think I could probably tickle myself. [ he says as he locates a new spot for the pile of papers in his arms, finding the document on top to be anything but interesting. hopefully nothing too vital exists within the stack; there are definitely rogue raindrops making some unlucky files wrinkle. ] There's that sensitive spot on my hip—you know the one—that always makes me laugh.
[ hands suddenly free, he waves one through the smoke in front of sebastian's face and grins. as far as he knows, there are rules about smoking in the apartment, but the dragon thing gets him every time. ]
I told the fairies they could nest in here. Maybe they don't like random holes in perfectly good walls. [ it's not really a sentiment he himself agrees with, but he's not about to judge. still, he rounds the desk with the confidence of someone who knows exactly where fairies are likely to hide permits. he hauls a cardboard box up from the floor and sets it down precariously on sebastian's lap before starting to riffle through the mess of contents. give him a second here, babe. ]
I think I could probably tickle myself. [ he says as he locates a new spot for the pile of papers in his arms, finding the document on top to be anything but interesting. hopefully nothing too vital exists within the stack; there are definitely rogue raindrops making some unlucky files wrinkle. ] There's that sensitive spot on my hip—you know the one—that always makes me laugh.
[ hands suddenly free, he waves one through the smoke in front of sebastian's face and grins. as far as he knows, there are rules about smoking in the apartment, but the dragon thing gets him every time. ]
I told the fairies they could nest in here. Maybe they don't like random holes in perfectly good walls. [ it's not really a sentiment he himself agrees with, but he's not about to judge. still, he rounds the desk with the confidence of someone who knows exactly where fairies are likely to hide permits. he hauls a cardboard box up from the floor and sets it down precariously on sebastian's lap before starting to riffle through the mess of contents. give him a second here, babe. ]
Edited (don't mind me) 2017-11-03 02:15 (UTC)
[ as per previous mention, it is fighting dirty to start talking about ... hips and ... sensitive spots while sebastian is trying to be annoyed about paper! never mind that they aren't actually fighting at all. his line of sight drops to the general vicinity of zetes' hips, like his brain has been whacked with a sexy reflex hammer, and he makes a face, stubbing his cigarette out in the ( ceramic, cactus shaped ) ashtray as if it has personally offended him. ]
You can't tickle yourself, it's a psychological and physiological impossibility --don't start trying, we're on a mission here.
[ in case zetes was considering doing anything to make his hips all. visible and irresistible and goddamn it why is sebastian's life such a trial!! a zetes-flavored trial. who is currently digging through his...lap... ]
Zetes. This box is labeled "expired coupons."
[ the aggravated noise he attempts to make completely ignores his intentions and comes out dangerously close to adoring, and he sighs a resigned sigh and bats zetes' hands away from the box so he can put it on the desk instead, meaning his own hands ( and perhaps more importantly lap ) are also free, making it awful convenient to reach up to knock damp baseball cap off his head and coax him down by the back of the neck for a hello kiss. since they've been separated for a probable hour and all. ]
I truly, madly, deeply hate your filing system. Just reiterating that.
[ yes, that's sure to have its most chastising effect all low and gravelly and one millimeter away from zetes' mouth. ]
Edited 2017-11-03 07:31 (UTC)
[ is it really fighting dirty if he's just stating the cold, hard facts? he has sensitive hips and sebastian knows it and if this observation happens to create a string of thoughts connecting the two, well. that's coincidence, for you. he may have been considering hauling up the hem of his t-shirt just now, because it's no secret that zetes' quite enjoys a challenge, but he holds off, less because he feels the pressure of this so-called mission and more because he's too busy smirking over sebastian's oh so obvious weaknesses, i.e. every inch of zetes' bare skin. ]
A mission. [ he echoes, weighting the word much more than is necessary as he unearths an unsealed manilla envelope filled to the brim with coupons proclaiming 2 butter chicken dishes for the price of 1!!! and then returns it to the chaos within the box.
he glances up at that mockery of a disgruntled sound, continuing to be endlessly amused by this state of affairs. ]
You say that like it's a bad thing.
[ but he relents as sebastian halts the search and rids himself of the box. zetes' breathes a laugh when his hat tumbles backwards and lets himself be pulled down in a kiss, hands instinctively framing sebastian's face while his knee finds purchase on the desk chair between seb's thighs.
he then proceeds to squeeze sebastian's cheeks while their noses bump togetHer, making his lips pucker like a cartoon character. he is clearly chastised. ]
I hate to tell you this but my filing system feels the same way about you.
[ he'll soften this blow with another kiss, sloppy and smiley. ]
A mission. [ he echoes, weighting the word much more than is necessary as he unearths an unsealed manilla envelope filled to the brim with coupons proclaiming 2 butter chicken dishes for the price of 1!!! and then returns it to the chaos within the box.
he glances up at that mockery of a disgruntled sound, continuing to be endlessly amused by this state of affairs. ]
You say that like it's a bad thing.
[ but he relents as sebastian halts the search and rids himself of the box. zetes' breathes a laugh when his hat tumbles backwards and lets himself be pulled down in a kiss, hands instinctively framing sebastian's face while his knee finds purchase on the desk chair between seb's thighs.
he then proceeds to squeeze sebastian's cheeks while their noses bump togetHer, making his lips pucker like a cartoon character. he is clearly chastised. ]
I hate to tell you this but my filing system feels the same way about you.
[ he'll soften this blow with another kiss, sloppy and smiley. ]
Edited 2017-11-04 03:56 (UTC)
argyle has its moments but pineapples are going to win out every time.
you should know this.
you should know this.
you should also know that i have every confidence you'll look very handsome and it'll be great and no one will care if we belong in a home or not!!!
It's your job to do the talking. The looking like we belong in a home talking.
[ as if it isn't always zetes' job to do the talking. unless they're talking to someone who needs to be intimidated by a glowering giant. ]
Especially since I think we both know which of us is going to look handsome in sea foam, and it's not me.
[ as if it isn't always zetes' job to do the talking. unless they're talking to someone who needs to be intimidated by a glowering giant. ]
Especially since I think we both know which of us is going to look handsome in sea foam, and it's not me.
Edited (eat it, formatting!!!!!) 2017-11-04 04:37 (UTC)
[ imagine, if you will, the look a freshly bathed cat gives a person after it is released from its indignity of water torture and races across the room to sulk while drying itself. got that pictured vividly? good, because the noise sebastian makes in response to zetes like, fish-mouthing him, is the aural equivalent of that. his fiance is a total nightmare and sebastian has no possible recourse but to stuff him in one of these nonsensically sorted boxes. one labeled do not open, troll inside.
...but box-stuffing would deprive sebastian himself of kissing, so he substitutes lifting his own hands up to cover zetes' just so he can't do anything else hilarious - and also because the fact that he could engulf both in one of his own giant paws never ceases to be charming - managing somehow to kiss back while scowling. unfortunately that's really difficult to maintain while someone else is smiling, and as such before all that long ( certainly before the kiss ends ) their mouths match in curvature if not precision. sebastian kisses like he does everything else, which is to say 'as if he has a scalpel.' even the soft ones are like that. ]
That's too bad, because the odds that I'm better at hating things - [ than zetes' filing system, yes ] can be seen from space. So your Jenga tower brigade can blow me.
[ um. he's just going to take his hands back now, but only to curve them around any hip-related sensitive spots, those being one of those things he exceptionally doesn't hate. like, at all. ]
...but box-stuffing would deprive sebastian himself of kissing, so he substitutes lifting his own hands up to cover zetes' just so he can't do anything else hilarious - and also because the fact that he could engulf both in one of his own giant paws never ceases to be charming - managing somehow to kiss back while scowling. unfortunately that's really difficult to maintain while someone else is smiling, and as such before all that long ( certainly before the kiss ends ) their mouths match in curvature if not precision. sebastian kisses like he does everything else, which is to say 'as if he has a scalpel.' even the soft ones are like that. ]
That's too bad, because the odds that I'm better at hating things - [ than zetes' filing system, yes ] can be seen from space. So your Jenga tower brigade can blow me.
[ um. he's just going to take his hands back now, but only to curve them around any hip-related sensitive spots, those being one of those things he exceptionally doesn't hate. like, at all. ]
seafoam is my color.
well, one of my colors.
everyone wants to talk to me when i'm in seafoam.
well, one of my colors.
everyone wants to talk to me when i'm in seafoam.
[ if zetes was not immediately presented with the wonderful distraction of kissing, he would have made time to guffaw at that ridiculous and yet comfortingly familiar sound. it's possible zetes teases him too much. but also probably not. especially not if gently driving sebastian crazy earns him kisses like this, decisive and determined, as if sebastian has never done anything more important in his life.
that and the smooth skin of sebastian's palms against his hands make him tremble a little with what is either pure joy or actual electricity tingling up his spine. ]
No, it can't. [ zetes corrects him, thumb escaping enough to rub back and forth over sebastian's cheekbone. ] Someone else could, but it can't.
[ that someone else will remain unnamed for the time being.
he hums what might be the beginning of a laugh when fingers find his hips, but he's not about to submit to what could become a tickle fight when they've got a mission. he decides to trust sebastian not to let him topple to the floor and leans over the side of the chair to swipe at a piece of paper sticking out of a precarious pile of books, the spines of which read things like 101 ways to open a letter and painting cats: advanced techniques. he straightens then, giving the document he's just snatched a once over—his smile widens suspiciously—before turning it for sebastian to see. ]
Okay, this is a test. Do you hate this?
[ ... yes, sebastian is looking at his permit in zetes' hands. huh. ]
that and the smooth skin of sebastian's palms against his hands make him tremble a little with what is either pure joy or actual electricity tingling up his spine. ]
No, it can't. [ zetes corrects him, thumb escaping enough to rub back and forth over sebastian's cheekbone. ] Someone else could, but it can't.
[ that someone else will remain unnamed for the time being.
he hums what might be the beginning of a laugh when fingers find his hips, but he's not about to submit to what could become a tickle fight when they've got a mission. he decides to trust sebastian not to let him topple to the floor and leans over the side of the chair to swipe at a piece of paper sticking out of a precarious pile of books, the spines of which read things like 101 ways to open a letter and painting cats: advanced techniques. he straightens then, giving the document he's just snatched a once over—his smile widens suspiciously—before turning it for sebastian to see. ]
Okay, this is a test. Do you hate this?
[ ... yes, sebastian is looking at his permit in zetes' hands. huh. ]
Page 1 of 6